Is it just me, or is the internet dating scene a breeding ground for the most evil, hateful bottom-feeders in existence?
I am no stranger to internet dating. I first signed up in the summer of 2006, when my first serious relationship finally ended after a long, slow death. I was on the rebound with a vengeance and it suited my needs perfectly. But then
something weird happened- I felt, almost unable to let go.
As I was getting my life back together, it seemed like it was a comfort thing, a tool to get my fix for attention and adoration from all my "fans". After years of being put down all the time and "changed" it felt nice to have strange men compliment me and compete for my affections. It made me feel good to be liked for who I am, and, in all honesty, helped me (inadvertently) get back a self-esteem that I had long forgotten about.
The years passed by and with each short relationship, I drifted away and came back to online dating several times. It almost seemed like an addiction, how I would get high on myself and think "I don't need this shitty site, look at me!" only to leave and be called back to it once more, dependent on my need for "love". Begrudgingly I would set up a new account in the hope that I would find someone who actually liked me.
See, this is the weird thing about internet dating, is that all these people are mixed in with you, talking to you, and competing with you. It becomes a place where people victimize others, manipulators come out of hiding, and the social outcasts become the dominant force. Give a man a mask and his true face is revealed!
Suddenly I was getting hatemail from anything to short messages just to tell me I was ugly, to these elaborately laid out essays on how I was a jerk because I didn't like short guys, or because I preferred one trait over another. Men who messaged me previously, whom I didn't respond to, or whom I rejected, would flame, report and send me the most evil messages I have ever heard. Some of these hate-letters I received on Valentine's Day, of all days.
First of all, since when is it "incorrect" to have physical preferences? Honestly, I have found the majority of the best looking, most charismatic guys on the particular site I use are shorter than 5'10; Unfortunately for me, inherently I posses a gene that prohibits me from being attracted to men who aren't significantly taller than me. It's definitely not personal, just a preference, but I get flamed for it a lot.
And then the dates... Some of the dates I have been on are scary to even talk about, to be honest. Some people, let me tell you, are just plain lying. I have met men who looked nothing like their picture. I've met guys who were completely awkward and abrasive. I have been on dates with guys who insulted me, yelled at me, and made fun of my appearance, among other things.
Let me just say, I am not an ugly person, on the inside or the outside. I treat everyone close to me with respect and courtesy, and if they need help, I will do whatever they need as long as it's within my capability. I have been called "pretty" and would consider myself a fairly attractive woman. So when I get insults like these, it really hurts my pride and makes me feel crappy, mostly because I know it's untrue and I feel stupid for letting it bother me.
Also, I would like to touch briefly on how unimaginably crazy some people on these sites are. Ladies, please be careful! Please! As an experienced person in the realm of internet dating, I want to personally warn you that some of the men on these sites are predators: Plain and simple. I have been stalked, harassed, physically beaten, yelled at, abandoned (left stranded), threatened and mentally abused by men I have met on these sites. No joke.
There have been a lot of good experiences, as well as bad ones, and I suppose the good is what has kept me coming back to the site so many times. I want to have faith that I will meet someone decent to spend time with, because I have met some really amazing people. I have a new group of friends from various walks of life and experiences, whom I adore, thanks to one of the most popular sites. I have had many friends come in and out of my life, and I appreciate them all for being there, as long or as little time I had them.
As for the men I have dated, I have met some very amazing men whom I wish things would have worked out with. There have been men who weren't quite a fit, but whom I respect greatly and know they are wonderful people. There have been some I tried to convince myself I was made for, even.
The years have passed and I finally have come into my own as a person, and I am realizing that, in one way or another, we are all broken. Maybe that's what has brought me back again and again, the knowledge that on these sites, these people understand that part of me, the broken part. They understand loneliness and solitude, and a longing for something that seems unattainable. I am also finding that, the more I love myself, and know myself, the less I need to care about what these strange men think of me or their love-hate-filled letters. I find myself appreciating the compliments I get, but not really "needing" them as I craved them before. I am discovering that the more I understand myself, the more insight into the actions of others; I see through their actions, and most of all, the easier it becomes to separate the ones who are worth my time, and those who are not.
Overall, I think the whole internet dating scene is a great venue for meeting friends and business networking above all. As far as romantically, I have personally never dated anyone from those sites for more than 3 months in the 3+ years I've been using them, so I can tell you from experience that I would not foresee long-term potential from this medium, for several reasons. However, I do believe that everyone is different, and I know of several people who have gotten married to people they met online. That has not been my personal experience in the least, however, I am a keeper of the faith.
I do believe in love, and believe me, I love being in love. I refuse to be a slave to it, though, and settle for less than what I am happy with for the sake of being "attached" to someone. I truly believe you need to love yourself before you can love another, and when the time is right for me, my Knight will come and seek me out. Until then, I'm putting away my internet profile ladies and
gents, because in all honesty (and in my opinion)- It sucks.
Samantha Hlavacek is a proud contributing author and writes many types of content from
articles to creative fiction and business material. To view more FREE articles
and samples, visit her at VonScribbles.com [http://vonscribbles.com]
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Samantha_Hlavacektags: internet dating, hooking up, online dating horror stories
The tendency to overlook the stark reality of the basic man starts early in life. The first dress that's purchased in order to grab the attention of a "special" boy is where it begins. Then come fancy haircuts, cosmetics and diets.
In the end, probably 90% of all the efforts failed to register.
Men are oblivious to much of what women do to interest and attract them. I said "much," and this is where it's easy to lose track of what is and isn't getting through.
Let me set the scene: an elegant restaurant in a fancy east coast city; 4 men in their late twenties and early thirties are enjoying dinner; there are lots of laughs and excellent conversation around the table. A good looking couple enters the main dining room. The woman is wearing a see through blouse, without a bra.
What a surprise! The guys notice. They aren't looking at her eye shadow, or notice that her gold earrings match the bracelet. They are admiring, her breasts.
As the couple moves across the room, it becomes perfectly obvious that they are being watched by an appreciative audience. When she gets into range, the woman turns to the nearest man at the table and snaps, "What do you think you are staring at?" Under the circumstances, it's a question that rates with Grouch's "Who's buried in Grant's tomb?"
What did she think they were staring at? What was the point of wearing the revealing blouse in the first place? Those four men weren't blind.
But again, they didn't notice the expensive haircut and the manicure. It wasn't a matter of being rude, or immature, or sex-crazed. When it comes to women, a man's optic nerves run directly to his crotch.
The news shouldn't be much of a shock, but the facts of life get rearranged by those who like to sell a new line of fall fashions, designer cosmetics, or high speed liposuctions.
Men are "supposed" to be turned on by a particular shade of lipstick. Men are "supposed" to be turned on by little button noses. Men are "supposed" to be turned on by skinny women.
Says who? Cosmetic czars? Plastic Surgeons? Millionaire diet doctors?
The message that gets lost in the chorus of special interest pleading is the most important one of all - Men are attracted to breasts. Simple.
By Don Bernard Want to crawl deeper into the rabbit hole that is the man's mind? Do you want to completely understand men and how you can use that secret information to better your odds in the dating world? Find your soul mate? Prevent yourself from being just a one-night-stand?
Read Dating Advice 101 [http://www.thebigdate.blogspot.com] and unlock all of these secrets. With over 400 pages, you sure to find a few gems!
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Don_W_BernardTAGS: BIG BEAUTIFUL BREASTS, DATING BIG BEAUTIFUL BREASTS, LARGE BOOBS
So here's the sketch; you're out having a drink with some of your mates, across the bar is an extremely attractive lady. You want to approach her but you can't think of a thing to say.
So unfortunately you ask your somewhat tipsy friends. One of whom suggests that you should use a dirty dating pick up line to grab her attention.
The theory behind using a dirty pick up line is to create a charismatic sexual effect on both of the people, but in reality it has somewhat of an opposite result which tend to disgust women, unless of course you are using it within the realms of dirty dating. If you have ever used a dirty pick up line you would know by now the reaction a woman has to it, if you haven't then the word to describe the reaction would be revolted.
Just the other day I sat at a very busy bar conducting a dirty dating study of my own, I listened carefully to men who approached women. Here are some of the thing's that I've heard so far (good, bad and the ugly)
"The worlds about to end, I'm sure you me and you could create the new big bang."
"I've never met the twins in front of you, would you mind if I said hello?"
"I got the cream if you give me the Strawberries?"
"Is it me? Or have I seen you in bed?"
"I'm sure my keys would definitely boost your ignition."
Most of these dirty lines are pretty funny, but the honest truth is they hardly ever work, but again if you were in the dirty dating scene then of course it would, as anything goes in dirty erotic dating.
The truth is most women want to know what's in a guys head before they think about what's in his pants. They love to talk, so if you have something interesting to say, say it. Small talk is for kids it's time to grow up and you'll exactly know how easy it is to take a girl home with you.
Go up to her, introduce yourself, tell her something that interest's you, show your a bit keen to get to know her but not overly, instead that will make her try to reel you in. Even if it is a simple conversation you will find out how much better it is than using dirty pick up lines which are mainly used for dirty dating. Whether you're simple dating or dirty dating make sure you know exactly how to approach each one.
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Jarno_Simardtags: dating, dirty dating, dirty pick up lines
If you are over fifty and have not dated for a while and someone shows interest somehow you can't help yourself but to become overwhelmed by the feeling.
You are too overwhelmed that you have no time to caution yourself and miss to read some dating tips for seniors. After a quite some time of just quietly sitting on your porch and watching falling stars to go by and wishing to have somebody to call your own has finally come true.
You now spend your nights hanging around with this new person you meet online. You look blooming, inspired and just can't seem to stop grinning.
You feel much younger and energetic, as if somebody has woke you up from a long sleep, just like Sleeping Beauty who after sleeping for a length of time, is now waken up by her Prince Charming's sweet kiss.
You know in your heart that your happy ending is at hand. Having dinner, watching a movie, a romantic walk along the park, these are the things you really miss. You feel like walking in the clouds every time you're with your date. As a matter of fact you're walking way up the clouds that your feet are no longer grounded.
It's like looking through a rose-tinted glass, you fail to see what's really going on. You overlooked the fact that every time you go out, you are the one paying for everything from the dinner to the carnival rides, even his fare for the taxi. You fail to spot that the cell number he gave you was not his but his cousin's and now he slyly wants you to buy him his cellphone so you can contact him anytime, any day at your convenience. You practically have no idea that you are dating a scoundrel. To have more idea that you are seeing a two-faced saint with horns, here are some dating tips for seniors.
He has a now you see him now you don't attitude. He only shows his face when he needs you but he is so cunningly good with his words that you cannot get mad at him. When you try to contact him, he is nowhere to be found for days but when he runs out cash he suddenly knocks on your door and cook you and himself some dinner and snuggle and make you forget about his disappearing act. Further dating tips for seniors that your date is a 100 carat fake is when he lies to you, even on the little things.
Another dating tips for seniors that your date is a scoundrel is when you are quietly having dinner at this fancy restaurant when suddenly a pregnant woman came, standing in front of your table and asked him for his financial obligations. Another dating tips for seniors that the guy you're seeing is a full of crap when he introduced you to his acquaintances as his aunt or worse his mother. Though this may be an extreme example but the point here is, it's not going to hurt you if you try to know the facts about his past. Dating tips for seniors is all about being cautious.
You have all the right to be happy and give yourself another shot for romance just remember some dating tips for seniors that can somehow warn you and keep your self-respect intact.
The author of this article, Ruth Purple, is a Relationship Expert who has been successfully coaching individuals and couples in their relationships. Get A copy of her ebook on how to find the right man for you. Stop dating the wrong men. Alternatively click here for Amazon's Kindle
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ruth_Purple
tags; dating seniors, senior dating, dating after 50
Happy New Year, dammit!
You ask "What's booty got to do with it?"
Everything! Without this fine booty life would be unbearable.
A Scoundrel is a true "bootycall" artist. He knows that he, or she, wants just one thing - non-binding sexual action.
Just want it when I want it and no further entanglement. The woman needs to be ready and waiting for my call. When I'm ready she must be ready and willing.
It's not that difficult, really. Don't believe me?
Just go online and type bootycall, see what comes up. Many women who are ready and willing for a no strings attached relationship.
There are actually many websites set up just for this type of action, no strings at all. Just call and set it up.
tags: bootycall, online bootycall, booty call, online booty call, scoundrel, scoundrel booty call, scoundrel bootycall
Who wants to be a scoundrel? Being a scoundrel works for some guys. Look at the guy who has had many women, he's usually is a jerk, he doesn't care about women's feelings.
That's what you need to become if ya wants to be a scoundrel.
Develop that I don't give a f*** attitude, it's all about me. Hey, it's going to be difficult to be that guy, but if you want it you can do it.
You'll discover that to be succesful you'll need to ignore your friends and buddies. You'll lose most of them along the way anyway.
As you focus more on becoming a scoundrel, fewer and fewer people will want to spend time with you.
So what, you're after a scoundrel. You're after becoming the Casanova of the world.
tags: scoundrel, scoundrels dating, bootycall
You know it's funny, you never know who is the most likely candidate to be up for an affair.
The most serene, sedate and steady person may be the one who is ready and willing to have something on the side.
They may already have signed up and surfed a site such as ashleymadison or another affair welcoming dating site.
All they need is just a little push and there they are. Are you the person to give them that push.
Are you adventuresome enough to go find out. Have you been online searching / looking for that one woman you might be into.
Into thrills, danger are you?
Be careful what you wish for though. Prepare well before you proceed. Cover your rear five ways to Sunday. If you're married double that.
To have an extramarital affair or not to have an extramarital affair? That is the question.
Take into consideration that an affair is a dangerous thing, not only in acting it out but also in preparation for one.
An affair is basically, against all the mores and religious teaching of probably all the world's religions. In most countries it is also against the law.
There are no set fast rules for how to have an affair. There may be a limited number of guidebooks and websites which tend to call themselves the definitive guide to having an affair, but ultimately it's up to you to determine how and if you're going to emabark on this dangerous path.
Before beginning an affair make certain that you are sure that you can and will be able to survive the consequences of discovery. Your affair may be discovered immediately or .....perhaps twenty years down the road. You may have forgotten about it but somewhere, somehow it came to light. Now your comfortable life is in jeopardy of disintegration because of something you did decades ago.
Have an affair if that is your thing, but plan carefully and expect to be caught eventually.
The only perfect way to not get caught is to not have an affair.
How to have an affair with your spouse, got ya! You thought this was going to be about having an affair outside your marriage. Why not have an affair within your marriage and in the process spice up your life.
Spice, probably something you haven't seen since your honeymoon. Or the last time you both really went out to do something toatlly different.
As enticing and exciting the thought of having an affair with someone new, someone who is not your spouse may be the hard truth is that most of the people having affairs eventually return to their spouse. That's just the way it is, this person is someone you are comfortable with, you've spent a long time with this person. They know all your faults & foibles, all your strnghts and weaknesses. They truly understand you so why not have an affair with them instead. Spice up not only your life but your spouses as well. Who knows you might rediscver & rekindle that something special you had way back then.
The best way to have an affair with your spouse is to get out of the rut you're presently in and begin thinking in a different way about the two of you. Think about what you could do differently that you are not doing currently. Invite her/him out for a quick lunch out of the blue. Buy flowers or chocolate, surprise them with tickets to a movie or theater. Begin doing things as if this was a brand new relationship. A relationship which you want to succeed.
This new approach will lead to new adventures and will rekindle what you had in the beginning, or even something better.
There are many things, ideas which you can consider and do... read more